The idea of a "man cave" has become a big joke between me and my husband. After I vetoed his idea of making our spare bedroom into a shrine to the New York Rangers, he shifted his eye to the basement. Now he likes to talk about the day when he'll turn our rather dingy basement into a space reserved for men. Since I don't qualify, I guess that I'll never be permitted to enter this sacred space, but I know that his plans include a very large television, his WII, some enormous recliners, a refrigerator and a bathroom. With all that he may never come out of the basement again. I wonder, will that help or hurt our relationship?

Apparently though, my husband isn't alone in his desire for a man cave to call his own. According to a recent survey by real estate company Coldwell Banker, four times as many men as women would turn a spare room in their home into an entertainment or recreation room. This isn't the only difference between men and women when it comes to choosing or loving their home though. 70 percent of women made up their mind that a home was right for them the same day they saw the house for the first time, while 32 percent of men needed two or more visits to make up their mind—and they say women can't make up our minds. More women also think it's important to live close to family—55 percent compared to 37 percent of men. I guess men really don't want their mothers-in-law dropping by.

Before you start to think that co-habitation is a recipe for relationship disaster, there were several similarities in what women and men look for in a home. "Not only did we uncover some of the inherent differences between men and women, but we also pinpointed a number of ways that the two genders are actually the same." said Diann Patton, Coldwell Banker's consumer real estate expert. "For example, both men and women are increasingly concerned with having a space to work in their homes—something we would not have seen 40 years ago. We also found that feeling insecure about a home's safety is a deal-breaker for most people, regardless of gender."

Of course those similarities aren't going to help me when I tell my husband that his man cave is actually destined to become a children's playroom.

photo: j. feingersh